Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I are both very comfortable with one another physically. We both have a bit of a tummy, and both find one another VERY physically attractive. I'm still feeling a bit hung up about my extra weight. I think I'd feel sexier if I lost some, but I don't really know if it's worth the work.
What should I do? Try to lose weight to feel sexier by exercising or eating better (hard physical work), or just accept the fact that he finds me attractive (hard emotional work)?
Dear Love Handled,
I get fat in relationships, it’s always too easy to go out and eat, just to do something, or do the “Will you get this brownie caramel explosion with me? I only want a little of it..” Every major date will most likely include an edible segment, every first meeting with the parents. Basically, food consumption increases directly with the closeness of a relationship, and it tastes great.
But the opposite: dreaded exercise, unfortunately has no real practical way to integrate it into a relationship, unless you’re both already quite active and fit. I believe that a person should be 99% comfortable with any partner’s appearance they decide to have a relationship with. Yeah, personality is great, but if you don’t like what a person looks like, it’s only downhill from there, so you’re just being a dick if you can’t be happy with how they are now.
So you’re quite lucky, you both love how each other look, you only have a BIT of a tummy. It seems your hang up is less about him, and more about finding yourself sexy. It’s easy to say that you should exercise “for yourself”, but that’s bullshit, we all want someone to wanna fuck us from the mere sight of us. But if you exercise for him, don’t twist your insecure personal feelings and project them onto him. He thinks you’re hot, and the last thing someone wants to hear after they’ve told you how terribly they want you, is “But i have a tummy..”
Believe me, if his dick hasn’t noticed, he hasn’t either.
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