Anonymous asked: Dear Mister Misses,
I have a major crush on guy who is funny, talented and crazy intelligent. I'm hugely attracted to him, which I find kind of odd since we've never actually met in person. Now that we've courted & gotten to know each other online, we've planned to meet to break bread.
Here's my dilemma: a fair amount of sexy talk has already been exchanged and I'm torn if upon meeting him in this flesh I should forgo the niceties of a couple of dates and just drag him back to my place to have my way with him OR take a cold shower and hold out before jumping his bones.
Will sleeping with him the first time we meet forever doom me to only be considered a jump off? I have no idea where this is headed with him, I just know he makes me laugh, is smart and turns me on, so I'd prefer to not do anything to jeopardize any of my future options.
Sincerely,
The Madonna Whore
Dear Not Like a Virgin At All,
Sex on a first date. Considering i describe this advice column, as for young cosmopolitan strangers, what is more cosmopolitan than casual sex? Tall buildings for one. Good pizza for two. Is that just wordplay? Yes, but it is also the makings of a good cheap innocent date.
What is the point of dating? For some people, it may just be casual sex, for others, it may be to get married, and really, we never can know what a person’s intentions are that you have just met. You may hope that they jive with yours, but those hopes may be crushed or realized, and that’s what will tell you if you’ll go from dates to dating to going steady. Wearing promise rings and football jackets, sweetness.
So should you sleep with someone on a first date? Generally, i’d say no. Sometimes the person just wants to sleep with you, and has no intention of getting to know you further, or sometimes the person loses the ability to really react to you nonsexually, if it’s the only way you’ve interacted is in that way. If you’ve had friends with benefits, then your’e familiar with the situation of the dude or lady, who comes over, you may make the chit chat for a sec, then when you’re done fucking, its just “Soooooooo…ummmmm…(nothing to say)…yeah” Somehow the sexuality becomes an impediment itself to normal human interaction. Like two used socks, empty except for gametes.
If you know you’re both really interested in each other sexually, you may find that the chase itself is what will bond you two together, and not a fleeting moment of lust. Destroy the chase, and you’re just laying awkwardly together…alone.
